Part Two: Section I

It was her. I knew it. I could see her coming towards me from the long, brightly lit corridor. It had been 4 days since I had last seen her outside the junk shop – the day I had somehow convinced myself to buy the coral paperweight. Her eyes were fixed on mine, but I could sense they were filled with fear. Maybe she was afraid of me. But in reality, I was the one who should have been afraid of her. She must have been distracted by me because when I looked back at her, she had fallen flat on her face. I couldn’t help but help her up, though. It was the least I could do, especially if I had the intentions of getting to know her for who she truly was. I helped her up, but she just walked away, acting like nothing had just happened.

That was when I realized she left something in my hands, and there was no question that she had done it intentionally. It was a scrap of paper folded into a square. I wanted to go into one of the water closets to open it, but I was hesitant; there was bound to be a telescreen in there. I wondered what could have been written in the note. Was it a threat or a trap of some kind from the Thought Police? Or was it just a message from an underground organization. Maybe the Brotherhood did exist after all and maybe the girl with the dark brown hair was a part of it.

I love you. The note said I love you. It must have been some sort of mistake. She couldn’t have possibly sent me a note saying I love you, could she? I had no idea what to think. I was stunned, but I couldn’t resist reading it again. Maybe it was just a figment of my imagination, I hoped. But it wasn’t. The note said I love you. And it was from the girl. The girl who had been watching me all along. The one with the dark brown hair.

I had managed to get her image out of my mind altogether, but then the memory of her came rushing back to me. At that point, all I wanted to do was be alone.

I don’t think she’s trying to lay any trap for me anymore, though. If she had, I would have been dead by how, wouldn’t I? And to think I was considering smashing her skull with a cobblestone. I don’t know what I was thinking. All I can do is imagine her naked now. Her naked body as she forcefully tore off her clothes and disdainfully flung them aside.

It had been a week, and still, she was flooding my dreams. The next day, I saw her at the canteen, but we passed each other without saying a word. The next three days, she was gone. But luckily, the day after, she came back. Her beautiful dark hair was strangely irresistible and I just couldn’t stop staring.

She was so unpredictable, but something about her still interested me. I made sure to come early the next day to make sure I didn’t miss seeing her. Besides, it was the only thing I could actually look forward to anymore. But then I saw someone walking toward her table – a little man who had just crushed my hope. I didn’t want to sit with her unless we were alone, but before I knew it, I had somehow managed to be sitting right next to her. I didn’t look and her, and she didn’t look at me, but we exchanged a few necessary words and sooner than later, we had plans to meet up. We met each other at Victory Square and then the next day at Paddington Station.

It seemed like we were holding hands for an eternity, but I can’t complain. I learned every detail of her hand, exploring her long fingers, her shapely nails and best of all, the smooth flesh under her wrist.

Things were finally starting to fall back into place, but for now, all I needed to know was the color of her eyes.

- Winston Smith