Sunday, April 18, 2010

Part Three: Section VI

At the Chestnut Tree Café, I sat in my usual corner, glancing up at the poster of Big Brother. A waiter came to fill my glass with some Victory Gin; there was no need to give them any orders since they knew about my habits.

My thoughts wouldn't stop wondering. Almost unconsciously, I traced "2+2=5" in the dust on the table with my finger. I reflected back to the time when I saw Julia on a bitter cold day. We could have had sex if we had wanted to, but my flesh froze with horror at the thought of it. Julia had grown thicker and somehow, she had stiffened. I didn't talk to her, let alone try and kiss her. We admitted that we had betrayed each other, but told each other that we should meet again.

"Under the spreading chestnut tree
I sold you and you sold me -"

I heard a voice singing that song from the telescreen. Just like that, my eyes were tearing.

A memory suddenly floated into my mind. I thought of my mother, my sister and all the times I had taken advantage of them. It must have happened almost a month before they disappeared. I had to push the picture out of my mind because I knew it was just a false memory.

I looked up at the portrait of Big Brother. So much had changed since I first started working at the Ministry of Love. It had taken me 40 years to realize the actual smile that was under the dark, cruel mustache. But everything was alright now. The struggle was finished because I, Winston Smith, had finally won the victory over myself. I loved Big Brother. And that was final.

- Winston Smith

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