I’ve been waiting for this moment to happen forever, and finally, it has. It was the same place where Julia had slipped that note into my hand. I felt like someone was walking behind me, so I stopped and turned around. It was O’Brien.
At that point, I wanted to run away and my heart was beating violently. But I knew I couldn’t run away. We were face to face and I didn’t notice it until his hand was on my arm. We were walking side by side. There was something about him that was different than the majority of Inner Party members. He was actually a bit courteous – something most Party members knew the definition of.
He was waiting for an opportunity to talk to me. And it was all because of one of my Newspeak articles. And to be honest, I didn’t even think it was that great. Especially because I had managed to use two words that had already become obsolete. I didn’t know what made O’Brien so intrigued, but I guess it was all right. For now, at least.
Apparently him and Syme used to be friends before he became an unperson because he brought him up in our conversation. It must have been some sort of code word or something. I wasn’t entirely sure, but I knew I would find out eventually. By sharing a small act of thoughtcrime, we were a little bit closer to becoming friends. Or acquaintances. I didn't know yet.
The Tenth Edition of the Newspeak dictionary hadn’t come out yet, but O’Brien had one of the advanced copies that were already being circulated. He asked if I wanted to take a look, and of course, I had to agree. He suggested that I pick it up from his house at night, so he took out a notebook and wrote down his address. I had considered O’Brien to be a wise person, but I had started to doubt my assumption. Why had he written down his address right in front of the telescreen? Didn’t he know that someone was probably watching his every move? I memorized the address anyways and some hours later, I dropped it into the memory hole so no one else could get their hands on it.
The conspiracies that I had dreamed of did, in fact, exist. I knew O’Brien and I had some sort of connection, and somehow, it was getting stronger by the minute. Even though the meanings of O’Brien's words had permanently sunk into my thoughts, a chilly shuddering feeling had taken possession of my body. After all, I had always known that the grave was there waiting to consume me.
- Winston Smith